The Standing 8 Count (10/05/08)

by Madcow

It’s me, your “Super” bad-ass Boxing columnist coming out for another round of pure nastiness- Not to be confused with your “Regular” and “Interim” bad-ass Boxing columnists, who I hope to one day make responsible for all my mandatory columns.

There were supposed to be two PPV cards yesterday with Juan Manuel Lopez fighting “Standard Casting” Mexican fringe contender Cesar Figueroa and Arthur Abraham against Raul “No I haven’t retired yet,” Marquez, which was eventually called off. Maybe these promoters should crack open a newspaper and see that our economy is in the tank, gas is on the rise and everybody’s nervous about where we’re headed. Asking nearly 30 bucks for a PPV with no real main event is almost as screwy as charging 50 bucks for a PPV with no real undercard. It’s time we stand up for ourselves and refuse to buy the steaming BS hoagies they shove down our throats or, at the very least, insist that we get four quality fights with every 50 dollar event.

Stepping down from my soapbox…

It’s a good thing for Raul Marquez that Arthur Abraham came down with the flu and pushed back their bout until November 8th. Now, Marquez can have a share of the spotlight for another full month before he’s sent off into retirement. Marquez is almost like the fat girl competing  for Homecoming Queen in high school- What a relief to have a delay in the voting and enjoy another few brief moments of glorious optimism before being slammed by the harsh reality.

Yuriorkis Gamboa looked almost human in the beginning of his fight last night until his opponent, Marcos Ramirez, started acting like this was a real, winnable fight for him. For future reference to all those willing to fight Gamboa- Don’t make him mad and you may see the 6th round.

Lightweight King, Nate Campbell declared bankruptcy this week. This is a true first- usually fighters declare bankruptcy after leaving Don King, not before.

Cristian MijaresVic Darchinyan is officially set for November 1st. Expect this one to look like the home video of me slapping around my elderly, drunken uncle at last year’s Thanksgiving celebration. There are only two words to describe what Mijares will give to Darchinyan: Boxing Clinic. (or, maybe: Punk Card)

With all the nasty words being exchanged between Antonio Tarver and Chad Dawson before their big fight next Saturday, we should be expecting an all-out war- What we’ll get is what we usually get from both fighters: a dull, confrontation-less Tarver and an unfocused, inconsistent Dawson. Whatever the case, expect 10 times the battle than what we’ll get during Joe Calzaghe vs. Roy Jones Jr.

Speaking of Calzaghe-Jones, I hear both parties have settled on an 80 ft. ring so they won’t accidentally have to come in contact with one another during their November 8th “fight.”

Sam Peter will be defending his WBC Heavyweight title against Vitali Klitschko this Saturday. Expect these two to look like me and my brother coming out of the Circus Circus buffet in Las Vegas- bloated, disoriented and extremely gassy.

There’s a horrible joke floating around that Arturo Gatti is considering a comeback. If there is any truth to this, Gatti should be handcuffed to his radiator immediately. The only world-class fighter I’ve seen more shot than Gatti in his loss to Alfonso Gomez was Meldrick Taylor- and that’s a very sad comparison to make. Any promoter who thinks about booking a Gatti comeback should have his license revoked.

Positive note of the week: Is there anyone more “Old School” than Alfredo Angulo? The kid looks like he was brought to life straight from a 50’s fight film. Fighting spirit, granite chin, 100+ punches a round? This kid’s a keeper.

Until next week…stop buying the sizzle when all you want is a good steak…and pay off your damn mortgages- even if it means missing Calzaghe-Jones!

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