The Standing 8 Count (12/7/08)

by Madcow

It’s me, your most splendid bovine columnist, itching to lose more friends and influence more enemies.madcow111

Congratulations to Manny Pacquiao on his dominant win over Oscar de la Hoya last night. Manny beat Oscar like his work visa depended on it.

I was completely unprepared to see De la Hoya dominated like that. I have to admit, it kind of disturbed me. I’ve never been a fan of the Golden Boy’s, but to see him get spanked around the ring and forced to quit was a little like watching your high school bully get the electric chair- Fun in theory, but quite sad when its carried out.

Manny and trainer Freddy Roach, on the other hand, deserve all the credit in the world for coming up with a strategy to show the world just how shot Oscar was.

Some Thoughts on The Dream Match:

If Manny outweighed Oscar, as announced, by 1.5 pounds, I’ll be damned to eating three squares at the Circus Circus buffet for a year. Nice try guys, but Oscar was clearly bigger than Manny.

Manny, beating on Oscar, looked like when Popeye would eat his Spinach and suddenly turn into a tornado of fists, beating the spit out of Bluto. Somebody should check Pacquiao’s pee test for traces of a green, leafy substance

Did anyone catch a glimpse of Oscar’s chicken legs? I just kept thinking to myself, “Now, how in the world is he going to fit into his fishnets?”

The undercard, per Golden Boy standards and practices, was pitiful. Three mismatches, totaling less than 15 minutes of action (including introductions). I wish the main event would’ve gone on at least another round so that Oscar could’ve been made to pay for this crap a little while longer.

Next for Manny Pacquiao? Probably Ricky Hatton in the early Spring of ’09.

Next for Oscar de la Hoya? A trip to the vault to roll around in his money and a day at the spa to make him feel like        “Goldie” again.

Israel Vazquez vs. Juan Manuel Lopez looks like a sure thing next year, leading me to believe that next year will be a golden year in boxing (No pun intended). Good match ups, fewer pay per views and everybody scrambling and working harder for our buck. The recession may have screwed up my Christmas this year, but it could make for a great year in Boxing.

It was a double win for Freddy Roach yesterday as his new client, Amir Khan destroyed Irish club fighter, Oisin Fagan. Ok, congrats for beating a bum, but what about someone who can punch? I still say the first time he gets tagged hard again, Khan will go down faster than the stock market if George Bush were to become Obama’s economic advisor.

Also in the UK yesterday, Carl Froch beat the poor man’s Roy Jones, Jean Pascal, in a pretty good scuffle to capture the WBC 168 lb. title. Jermain Taylor is now Froch’s mandatory. I’ve asked it before and I’ll ask it again, what’s the deal with British boxers and rabbit punching? Why is every big British fight overloaded with illegal shots to the back of the head?

Hasim Rahman is all ready to fight Wladimir Klitschko next Saturday. Bad Omen #1: The movie playing on Rahman’s flight over? Dead Man Walking. Bad Omen #2: The amubulance crew to be used at the fight has been making practice runs to the closest area hospital all week.

Tony Thompson has pulled out of his bout with James Toney this Saturday and has been replaced by Fres Oquendo. That’s a little like hearing, “All we have to eat is rice cakes. Ooops…Turns out they’re diet rice cakes!” My prediction for this fight? Little pools of drool round your face as you sleep very soundly.

Closing thought for this week: Never pay 55 bucks for something that doesn’t either fill your belly, satisfy your lust or make you smarter.

That’s all for now. There’s a bottle of something with my name on it…Sees ya when I sees ya.


One response to “The Standing 8 Count (12/7/08)

  1. I’d like to see Khan/Prescott II. It’ll either redeem Khan, and help him climb the rankings, or push Prescott into the limelight against some bigger foes. It took Prescott under a minute to dispose of the former British Olympian, and in impressive fashion. Maybe the sequel is necessary for Khan to make the plunge into the deep end. Or, maybe Prescott really is the deep end.

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