The Standing 8 Count (12/14/08)

by Madcow

Ex-wives be damned, Madcow is back and ready to be the proverbial turd in Boxing’s punch bowl.madcow116

If there’s one thing Madcow loves it’s boxers who actually know how to box; Guys who take the time to learn the difference between an uppercut and a cold cut. This week we got two big fights featuring guys who actually know how to execute their own styles. Hell, most fighters these days aren’t even disciplined enough to have styles much less execute them.

Steve Cunningham and Tomasz Adamek put on one of the fights of the year last Thursday, A back and forth war that had the boxer boxing, the slugger slugging and the fans going crazy. Adamek came out the winner, but this is a no-brainer for a rematch in 2009.

Also, Kendall Holt and Demetrius Hopkins had their own textbook display of boxing skill on Saturday. While this one wasn’t as exciting as the Adamek/Cunningham battle, it was a fight between two real, professional fighters in their primes. After watching so many fights featuring so many fighters who look like UFC flailing “strikers,” to see two real fighters is a sight for sore eyes. Next up for the winner, Holt, is another pleasing fight against fellow belt holder- Timothy Bradley.

Speaking of  boxers who know how to box,  James Toney beat Fres Oquendo via controversial split decision.  As a boxing purist, I love Toney and his old-school skills, but it’s time to hang ’em up. If you can barely muster up a win against a fringe guy like Oquendo, what chance do you have against the best of the division? Toney belongs at Cruiserweight or below. If Toney had been able to resist the third and fourth trips to the buffet, he’d be doing what Bernard Hopkins is doing right now- giving kids boxing lessons and making waves post-40th birthday.

Is it possible to get a refund on a “free” HBO fight? Wladamir Klitschko easily put away a Hasim Rahman who, to be Madcow honest, wasn’t there to win. This fight was as close to a fixed fight as possible without atually being a set-up. Rahman was there for the payday and, really, did just enough to not be accused of taking a dive. Fighters who don’t even try to win when they get a shot at the title are a disgrace. Rahman, Samuel Peter and anyone else like that should be crossed off any rankings foolish enough to have them listed.

“Duck Dodgers” Joe Calzaghe declared Boxing to be a dying sport after being confronted with the pathetic PPV numbers of his farce fight against a shot Roy Jones. On this matter, I trust Calzaghe. Lord knows he’s done his part to throw the sport under the bus. If we had 100 “champions” like him, the sport would more resemble competitive badminton than professional boxing. Imagine the toll of having a bunch of chumps like Calzaghe at the helm! The taxi driver industry and Wales’ local Walmarts would go broke from the Calzaghe clones beating up their workers.

Speaking of things too hideous to imagine Evander Holyfield‘s rickety old bones are being harvested once again for a title shot against boxing’s missing link, Nikoley Valuev. Even more obscene than the signing of this fight is the fact that they’re putting it on PPV in the US and Canada. Drop me an e-mail if you plan on ordering this fight and I’ll be sure to forward your address to the nearest mental health facility.

2008 is ending with a wimper, but I am literally salivating at the thought of 2009. In the first 2 months of next year there are at least a half dozen fights I can’t wait to sink my teeth into. Let’s blow off this Holiday Season crap and let’s get right to the action!

Gotta run and find some Yule Tide cheer at the local massage parlor…Ho, Ho, Ho!!!



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