The Standing 8 Count (1/18/09)

by Madcow

Hurray for me! Alimony, liver problems and 7 addictions be damned! The Madcow is back for another round of low-blows, ear-biting and strip club clinching.

Bravo to HBO and Andre Berto and Luis Collazo for putting on a helluva show last night. Great, honest fight madcow112between two guys actually hungry for a win. I had Collazo winning, but it was close and I think a rematch would be a great thing for the divison.

Bill Clancy, 116-111 Berto? 9 rounds to 3, Berto? Billy Boy, do yourself a favor and stay home the next time you get the call to judge a fight. In other words…you suck donkey balls!

My one complaint is about the HBO crew. I know everyone’s on-air role, but is Harold Lederman neccessary anymore? He was never all that great, but what little he did have he’s lost. His analysis is wrong, his scoring is off and he’s just a flat-out bore. If HBO wants to save some money on  their boxing shows, let Lederman go off to a nice old folks home where he belongs.

The HBO broadcast team has become like a family to me: Jim Lampley and Larry Merchant are the angry, drunken uncles at the dinner table, Max Kellerman is the younger cousin who’s full of himself since starting his internship at Bank of America, Lennox Lewis is the befuddled brother-in-law who’s just trying to stay afloat and Harold Lederman is the Alzheimers-ridden grandfather who pisses his pants right before the main course.

Speaking of HBO, next week is the big Antonio Margarito vs. Shane Mosley showdown. This has to be a classic and it will make the network 2 for 2 in ’09.

My prediction for Margarito/Mosley? Margarito’s gonna be the first to stop Shane and not all the Balco creme in the world is gonna make him young enough to withstand 12 rounds of Margarito’s canned-ham fists.

Ricky Hatton and Manny Pacquiao are still having a hold-up over money issues. Manny wants a 60-40 split and Hatton wants 50-50. Pacquiao should just pull out and sign somewhere else and then see how much money Hatton can make fighting Andreas Kotelnik. Or, better yet, have Ricky and Manny take 40% each and suspend the remaining 20% in cash over the ring in a plastic bag. Then, as the winner is announced, the bag can be burst open and the fighter would be showered in 20’s and 50’s.

After months of rumor and near-misses, it looks as though David Tua vs. Shane Cameron is finally on the verge of being signed. Hurray! Apparently, this is some sort of Polynesian/South Pacific mega fight but, to the rest of the world, this is a battle between two meaningless heavyweights- one older, one younger- both worthless in 2009.

Amir Khan and Marco Antonio Barrera are all set to have it out in Manchester in March. I don’t know if Frank Warren has a title for this event yet, but I would humbly submit: Has Been vs. Never Will Be. I’ll be pulling for Barrera, although it’s hard to decide what will be for the sport’s greater good: Having an aged and weary Barrera put out of his misery or having an overrated Amir Khan further exposed and finally eliminated.

Speaking of misery, Jose Luis Castillo beat cardboard cutout, James Wayka in Mexicali, Mexico. From Fight of the Year to fighting in some Mexican Bingo Hall in the course of about 3 years…that’s a quicker descent than the plane that plopped into the Hudson River. Let’s hope Castillo dosn’t get within sniffing distance of a legit title shot.

Tommy Morrison makes another comeback on January 31st as he continues his tour of states with weak comissions and  disorganized medical requirements. Morrison will be fighting Boxing’s bravest 7-9-2 fighter, Corey Williams in Wyoming…Catch Tommy Morrison Fever- It’s Contagious!

Speaking of contagious, I have a date in an hour or so and I have to scrub down before she gets here.

Have a Jack and Water in my honor and I’ll see ya next Sunday.

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