The Standing 8 Count (2/8/09)

by Madcow

In a world where Frans Botha has become the new WBF “World” Champion (and actually believes the “world” madcow111part) and Tommy “Contagium” Morrison is the champ of the entire state of Wyoming, little seems sacred and even less seems to make sense. That’s where your friendly neighborhood Madcow comes in. Madcow is here to bring some sanity into a very insane world of professional prize fighting.

The most recent burning question in the Heavyweight division was answered Saturday as the world finally caught a glimpse of the universe’s most unknown top challenger, Carl Davis Drumond, as he lost a Technical Decison to Ruslan Chagaev in Germany.

Chagaev suffered a couple of horrific cuts over his left eye which led the ref to almost stop the fight at the end of the 5th. But knowing that it will probably be another 2 years before we get to see Chagaev fight again, the officials let him fight on for 1 more round. That one was for all those Chagaev-Maniacs running wild out there.

Vic Darchinyan uglied his way past Jorge Arce on Saturday night, beating Arce’s face to a pulp before a cut forced the ref to call an end to it after the 11th. Everything about Darchinyan is nasty- from his ugly style to his wicked power to that putridly smug smile…and you just know that he stinks up the toilet something awful! But the guy’s doing something right.

Tuesday, the world finds out what’s at the bottom of Antonio Margarito’s Plaster Gate controversy. If he’s found to be carrying a brick in his wraps, throw the bum and his bum trainer out of the sport for life. If he’s found innocent, he holds on to his career, but is pretty much done in the sport because of the accusation and the beating he took from Shane Mosley. It’s a lose-lose for the guy who was on top of the world just 6 short months ago.

In other weekend action, I was so pulling for Antonio DeMarco to beat Kid Diamond. Not because I really favored one over the other, but I felt lazy calling the guy “Kid Diamond” when his real name is Almazbek Raiymkulov. Now that Kid Diamond lost, I won’t have the moral dilemma of posting the real name or the pretend name.

Andre Ward ruined a perfect weekend of action fights as he stunk up the joint against “Sugar Poo” Buchanan. Fight Stats for this one: Over 12 rounds, I checked my bank balance, defrosted some chicken wings, figured out next month’s bills, e-mailed a lady friend of mine and fixed myself a Jack and water. All in all, a productive 36 minutes of my life.

WBO flyweight champion Omar Narvaez set some sort of longevity record by winning this weekend. Too bad I have no idea who this guy is.

Next Week’s Valentine’s Day HBO fight card will test the true devotions of fight fans. I’m planning on a couple of hours of sweaty aggression on that day. Now, I just have to decide if I want it in a hotel room or with Jim Lampley giving commentary.

Julio Cesar Chavez Jr‘s next opponent has been named. So, the headliner for Latin Fury #8 will be Julio Cesar Chavez Jr. vs. Korean Club Fighter, Sum Stiff Bum. Ok, ok, that’s not the real name of Jr.’s opponent, but I refuse to put forth the effort to even look it up. All I know is that it’s someone sucky and with no chance of victory.

In closing, a word for the now retired, Joe Calzaghe: Joe, I have had nothing but bad words to say about you throughout your career, but now that you’ve officially called it a career, I just thought it would be classy on my part to offer up at least one positive statement about your career. Um….Nobody ever made wins over Evans Ashira and Mger Mkrtchian seem so important and essential. I hope you have a nice display in the Hall of Fame, right next to the men’s room. Now, go out there and take up something fun in your retirement, like scuba diving in the Bermuda Triangle or Sky Diving over a cactus ranch.

Later, weirdos


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