The Standing 8 Count (4/26/09)

by Madcow

Ahhhh….There’s nothing like a week off to really make a man feel at ease with the world. I was feeling a little guilty at madcow112first, but then I thought to myself, “Hey! You ain’t getting paid!” That made me feel a lot better.

Is there anyone who gets knocked out better than Jermain Taylor? I mean, look at his face and his body when he gets whooped! He gets this blank look in his eyes and his body crumples like one of my used kleenex. Now, there’s a man who has the decency to look whooped when he was whooped.

Congratulations to Carl Froch who followed the perfect strategy for beating “The Head of Block from Little Rock”: Throw punches and wait until Taylor gets tired and starts running into them. But, sorry, “Cobra,” you are still not “worthy” of a fight with Joe Calzaghe. It’ll take 10 more years and a loss to Sven Ottke to qualify you for “Super” Joe.

This Just In: Juan Manuel Lopez has just broken into Gerry Penalosa‘s house and his beating the Filipino up at his dinner table… And Penalosa still won’t go down!

Gerry Penalosa is a freaking robot. I’ve never seen anyone outside of a Friday the 13th movie take so much punishment and still keep coming forward.

Penalosa’s toughness aside, Lopez is a beast and will massacre most of 122 and 126.

Speaking of massacres, Allan Green finally found his mojo and starched Carlos DeLeon Jr. on the undercard of Froch/Taylor. This is the first time I’ve seen the potential from Green that so many claimed he had. Where was this version of Green when he “pussed” his way around the ring against Edison Miranda? Maybe the section of colon he had removed? May I suggest a similar ass operation for Andre Ward and Eddie Chambers?

Speaking of ass-work, Cory Spinks is back in the mix at 154 lbs. with his solid win over DeAndre Latimore on Friday. Actually, to be fair to Spinks, this one wasn’t actually all bad. I just have to say, though: Doesn’t Cory Spinks look like the biggest idiot in the world when he does his pre-fight dance thing?

What I want to know is why anyone still sticks with Don King as a promoter? With just about one real card a year, he has at least a half dozen solid fighters just withering on the vine. A 22-year old prospect like Devon Alexander should not have ring rust against a club fighter like he did on Friday’s undercard.

James Kirkland was arrested on gun charges and could likely see prison time for a parole violation. Would it be too much to ask of Ann Wolfe to cut her hair short like Kirkland’s and assume the young phenom’s fight schedule? I mean, gee, Kirkland was doing so well…

So, next week is the big one- Manny Pacquiao vs. Ricky Hatton. Let me be one of the first to say that, despite the 24/7 shows on HBO and all the hype, this is a mismatch. By the 4th round, Hatton will look like he was eating tomato paste without his hands. Forget all the pro-Hatton reasoning, Ricky doesn’t have a chance in hell. Pacquiao is going to beat him like Reginald Denny got beat in the LA Riots. This one will put the quaint and likeable chap, Hatton, into a much-needed retirement. And if Pacquiao is especially blood-thirsty on the 2nd, this bout will not be suitable for younger, more squeemish viewers. Floyd Mayweather Sr.- Bring a pint of O+ with you.

Apparently, Floyd Mayweather Jr.’s retirement is only going to last about 18 months. Rumblings are strong that “Money” will be coming back on July 18th against Juan Manuel Marquez and I believe them. Now, if it were rumored that he was coming back against a prime, world-class fighter in his own weight class? Then, I wouldn’t believe a word of it.

Ok, gotta run and see if I still have some money in the bank. I have a big vacation coming up. Paul, please remove all Swine Flu patients from the Central Mexico area- especially the zonas de tolerancia.

See ya next week, ladies.

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